my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
