Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize