her vagine was all disorganized.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
