Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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