He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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