so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
A bitchslap is in order.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
