What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
