I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
