i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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