Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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