she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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