I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
