after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
