i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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