He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
