dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
