I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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