spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
