when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
