I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize