have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
