There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
