well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The air was thick with penises
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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