And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
