what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize