hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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