If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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