ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
