Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
