I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
