I'd wear matching sweaters with you
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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