I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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