The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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