Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
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There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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