We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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