We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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