Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
