I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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