She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
