Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
