O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You did what with his pubic hair?
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