You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
