Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize