But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
