Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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