I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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