I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
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I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
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Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
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