Pants 0. Shit 1.
Duck Duck Cougar?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
