She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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