You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
