I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
