And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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