the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
