I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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