Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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