and my herpes radar will keep us safe
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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