i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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