I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
