Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
