I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
