that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
