Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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